One year on - quite look back & optimistically looking to the future

[Lieveling]

Hello everyone,

On the weekend, my partner was one year post-injury. I could hardly wait to get him past this mildstone, one year post-injury and his health is stabilising, rehabilitation is going well and he is really working so very hard and getting the best out of his physical and occupational therapy.
We had a nice chat about last year, the accident, how we both reacted to it, how difficult it was (and still is but we have better coping methods now so it is somewhat easier).

I can hardly believe that it is nearly a year since I first posted here, desperate for advice, desperate for help and support. Following your advice I hung in there, got my wonderful man back through sheer support and love and one year on, we're both doing very well. We're lucky that in this country, as a tetraplegic he has a right to 15 months rehabilitation.

I was just wondering when the anniversary of your or your loved one's spinal cord injury comes round, do you acknowledge it? Is it healthy to acknowledge it? Do you have anything else to add on this that I can learn from?

Many thanks to you all for being there when I've needed it most!

[Gary Anderson]

Hi Lieveling

Cannot believe that it is now one year since you came here.

I have two anniversaries. My first accident which caused me my nerve injury was 20 years ago - I dont bother with that now.

The 2nd accident, which caused me even more problems than I could cope with I try to forget but it is hard since it occurs on New Years Day!

Personally, I dont bother thinking about it now. Both accidents changed me in different ways and I prefer to try and block them out.

Not everyone will agree but to each their own.

[cate]

Hi Lievleing.
I  would think that you  could celebrate how well you  have both done in the circumstances, making the best of what you have ,  a forward thinking.  Hope you both continue to make headway  in the future and be proud of your relationship during these difficult times.
Cate.

[Catucci]

Hi Lievleing

What a lovely post!  My hubby will be 3 years post sci in August.  The anniversary seems to provoke a talk about that awful day.  It's strange that's it's so painful and upsetting to talk about but somehow we can't help but give it an airing every so often.  You should be very proud that you've proved to yourself that you're made of the tough stuff so well done.  I can't believe it's a year for you both either.  I'm so glad things are getting better for you and hope things keep improving.

xx Cat xx

[wheels5894]

We hardly bother to mention it thought it is 25 yers this year. It happens to be the same date and the date we moved to our present house 17 years ago and that gets priority in the celebrating stakes (or perhaps steaks too ;-) ) I do think it is worth, sometimes, to look back and see how far we have travelled for the start and how hard my wife woprked to not help so that I had to learn to be independant.

Our house when I was paralysed first was a typical English semi-detached with a hall too narrow to allow a normal wheelcahir to turn into the rooms. Despite modification, this was still a problem. Ou house now if great with plenty of room for wheelchair everywhere. The upstairs isa couple of bedrooms and a bathroom but as we have our own on-suite bedroom downstairs I don't need access up there.

However you look at it, things are so  much better now than 25 years ago - but I only have to look at my titanium chair to know that. It may hardly be celebration but I tend to think that we have done well over the years and I am sure most people here looking back would agree.

[jackie]

Hi

My son will be 1 yr post injury on 4th June.  It is hard to believe it is almost a year.  I spent hours on the forum looking for answers and advice.  Craig is aged 19 , C4/5 complete.  He has made so much progress since the accident. We were told he would not breath on his own, then he wldnt be able to eat or drink.  Well he has proved the docs wrong.  He now breaths on his own, eats and drinks plenty, is moving both his arms, cant use his hands but manages to eat using a feeding strap.  He is still in hospital because our house isn't ready but has recently applied to university to study psychology.  He has made so much progress, still has some medical problems with high/low blood pressure and neck pain but it isn't holding him back.  As he says you sink or swim and he has no intention of sinking.

[wheels5894]

That is good new, Jackie! Let's hope he keeps up the progress though I doubt there is a problem there - he sounds really well motivated. A university degree should allow him a lot in interest and fun - as well as new friends - but the chance for job too. Good luck to him, and you of course!

[Lieveling]

That's really terrific news Jackie. Maybe you could put that good news in an obvious place. A new young guy called Harrison (17 yrs old) could do with reading your posting too.

Keep up the good work, both you and Craig

[gzarnke]

Seeing as today is my son's 2nd year post injury I did take the day off.  As some of you know he has been very depressed and has not had much in the way of medical care re: therapy or rehab.  So tonight I plan on sitting up with him, he is a 3rd shift type person, and talking to him about getting back to his goals and what to do to get started.

He has been talking about getting a job and moving out so today will be a looking forward day and making plans.  Other wise the day is for me as I would not want to be far from him on this day.

I am not sure how he feels about it.

And Jackie I am so glad to hear from you and how Craig is doing.  He has a great spirt and I have never stopped praying for him or you.

gzarnke